


Tomorrow

by Dragonflies_and_Katydids



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bedside Vigils, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2019-09-19 13:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17002521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonflies_and_Katydids/pseuds/Dragonflies_and_Katydids
Summary: There's nothing Cullen can do except wait.





	Tomorrow

Bull is still breathing. Maybe not always steadily, but his lungs continue to move, pulling air in and pushing it out, one breath after another after another. From his seat beside the hospital bed, Cullen’s attention is fixed on each exhale, on the half second pause before the next cycle starts, a tap-tap-tap on his brain whenever he starts to focus on something else.  _Are you paying attention?_  it demands.  _Maybe that was the last one. Maybe there won’t be another._

As if by listening, he can somehow make the next breath come.

In between bouts of panic, he tries to read, or play games on his phone, or really, do anything other than hang on the sound of air moving between Bull’s lips. It isn’t easy, but he tries.

There’s a new book he’s been meaning to read. He makes it to the end of the first chapter, only to start the next chapter and realize he doesn’t recognize any of the characters’ names, even though a glance back tells him he just read twenty pages about them.

There are a dozen games on his phone. He opens each one, stares at it for a minute or two as he tries to remember how to play, then closes it and moves on to the next one.

There’s a text from a friend about getting lunch tomorrow. He reads and re-reads it, unblinking, until his eyes burn. Tomorrow. When today is over, he’ll still have to face tomorrow. He fears it, and hopes for it, and fears the weight of that hope. Today’s hope could crush him so easily, tomorrow.

He closes the messaging app and flips over to Facebook, to grainy cell phone pictures of people’s kids and too-close close-ups of people’s food and all the dramas of other people’s lives. Tomorrow doesn’t weigh on any of them: it’s just a day like any other. They’re making plans and telling jokes and sharing silly cat videos, while Cullen listens with half an ear to every breath from the bed beside him.

The world goes on. He knows this, and yet, it grates on him. Every time he loses himself for a second in something, there’s always a hook ready to yank him back. Every half-formed plan is a punch in the stomach, a reminder that he doesn’t dare make any plans right now. Even the jokes are painful, because they make him laugh, and when he laughs, he thinks,  _I should show that to Bull._

He might never get to show Bull anything, ever again.

On the bed, Bull inhales, and Cullen sets his phone aside. Then he puts his head on his arms and just listens to each breath while he tries not to think about tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> [on tumblr](https://dragonflies-and-katydids.tumblr.com/post/140950994077/tomorrow)
> 
> If you need a fluff chaser, you can think of this as part of a series with [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5291204/chapters/12246080) and [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5851960).


End file.
